They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize