Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Randomize
