after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
