I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
