I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
