I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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