at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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