In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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