was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
