i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
