i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
