She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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