Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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