when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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