Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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