Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
