first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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