I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Life without a bra equals bliss.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
