gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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