In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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