My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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