Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
