Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize