I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
