it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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