I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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