so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
