He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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