I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
