Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
