atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize