College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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