Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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