it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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