im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
