I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize