yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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