Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
