my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sext me about skeletons
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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