Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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