I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
