so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
