lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
When did angry sex become our thing?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize