hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
