We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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