I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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