I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
