You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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