You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
