Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize