I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize