But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
