Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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