if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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