just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we're making bets on your personal life
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
