Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
