i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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